Most blogs and websites come with a biography. They’re usually tell you what the author wants you to know about, but they don’t always introduce you to the person behind the blog. I thought I would give you a feel for the weirdo behind the posts:
I don’t like coffee.
I once ordered a hot chocolate at Dukin Donuts and was given a coffee by mistake. Imagine the horror when I took my first sip to taste the bitter sludge that is coffee. Coffee lovers judge me if you like. I’ve overlooked your love of the vile substance for years.
I watch Teen Wolf.
I like Sci-fi and fantasy TV shows. I watch Supernatural (the boys can have a new “final battle” every year for the next 20 years and I’ll still tune in), and Grimm, so why not Teen Wolf? I know, I know. I’m too old for Teen Wolf but I don’t care. It’s a good show.
I don’t like tacos.
I make tacos and eat them on occasion – my husband and kids love them. I just can’t get into them. I don’t like the flavor, the look, or the texture. I will always choose tamales over tacos if given the choice.
I hate chick flicks.
I don’t go to the movies to cry, to be romanced, or to learn something. I want to laugh. It doesn’t help that my sense of humor is more on par with a 15-year-old than an adult. Give me Dude, Where’s My Car?, Role Models, Harold and Kumar (the entire series), Vacation, Ghostbusters, Transylvania 6-5000, Tropic Thunder, or Zoolander. The list goes on. My husband and some guy friends would use me as an excuse to go and see movies like Love Actually, when I would want to see Scary Movie 3.
I don’t like tattoos.
If you have a tattoo, that’s fine. I respect your decision to have one. I might even admire the talent that went into your ink. They are just not for me. I don’t like the fact that they’re permanent. What if I want to wear an outfit that they don’t match? It would annoy me. I do have 5 little tattoos, which I had to get for medical reasons; I hate them. Fortunately, they’re the size of freckles. In case you’re wondering, they hurt. A lot.
I enjoy stage tunes.
OK, I love them, and I belt them out like Ethel Merman. Well, in my head I sound like Ethel Merman. In reality, I sound more like the mermen in Harry Potter. To the embarrassment of all who know me, I’m more likely to be able to identify something by Cole Porter than Lady Gaga.
I believe in the malocchio.
I know the evil eye isn’t real. It’s just superstitious nonsense. However, I feel better when I carry charms, make gestures, and wear colors that ward it off. I can’t explain it. I’m not proud of it – I’m Catholic and should shun such nonsense. It’s the way I feel, and at the end of the day, it’s harmless – I hope.
I talk to my pets and myself all the time.
I’d like to make some pretentious comment about it being the only way that I can find intelligent conversation, but that’s just not true.
I fall asleep within seconds of deciding to go to bed.
My ability to quickly fall asleep drives my husband crazy. It also makes it difficult to help my kids fall asleep. When they say they’re having trouble falling asleep, all I can offer is “well, clear your mind and go to sleep.”
I’m a recovering Pepsi addict.
I love an ice cold can of Pepsi. It makes me happy to crack open a can and drink it. That sweet, refreshing taste. So good! I would happily drink a can or two a day. For the last three years, I’ve been sticking to unsweetened drinks, and only allow the occasional indulgence.
Now you know more about me than what my bio tells you. You’re judging me, aren’t you? Hopefully, you’re identifying with me, too.